It seems to me people come in three types: Idealists, Realists and Pessimists.
You will find yourself predominately in one of these camps. You may move between the camps depending on the subject in question, your recent experiences and your current mood.
But most people either look at the world through rose-colored glasses, or “as the world as it really is” (according to their perspective), or with a negative bias.
Each camp of people requires a different method of conversation.
Conversation with an Idealist often has to stick to lighter topics. Getting into life’s harder subjects can be challenging with an idealist.
You know how this type of person thinks. They let the ideal way of life cloud their thinking. They want to think that everything will have a storybook ending – or at least that it should end that way.
Their ideals get in the way of them seeing life as it really is. This thinking certainly impacts their conversation.
The harder things of life are uncomfortable for an Idealist. Their thought process makes it difficult for them to accept that some things in this world don’t work out with a storybook ending. They can become upset with the direction of your conversation and not be able to continue.
In social conversations with an Idealist, stick with the pleasant subjects of life. Your Idealist will be comfortable and be able to continue speaking with you.
When it comes to the work or project environment, speaking with an Idealist may have to take a different path.
In the work place Idealists sometimes have a difficult time. Because they think things should all run in an ideal way – smoothly, without mistakes or changes in plans and at their pace – Idealist can have difficulty when business goes awry or more is expected of them than they think is right.
You may have to very direct with an Idealist. Often times leading an Idealist to understand “how the world works” is not enough. Sometimes you just have to be blunt and “tell them the way it is.”
Jim is the manager of an automotive service department. He leads a team of several dozen employees, which comprise of technicians, service consultants, porters, cashiers, warranty administrators and shuttle drivers.
Some of these folks are young and starting out their careers. Quite a few of them grew up in homes with easy-going parents. These young men and women did pretty much as they pleased while growing up. There were few, if any rules.
This makes it difficult for them to understand they now have to accept and follow company rules and procedures in order for them to hold onto their jobs.
Jim brings one of the service consultants aside to have a discussion with him regarding the accuracy of the repair order billing. A lot of mistakes have been showing up on the repair orders he oversees.
When Jim explains the situation to Sam, the consultant, he hears as a response, “I haven’t enough time in the day to get everything done. Besides, it’s not my job. That’s what the cashier is for.”
It is a bit hard for Jim to accept this reply, as Sam seems to have enough time to be on Facebook, to spend time on the internet looking at cars for sale as well as other non-work related activities.
Jim tells Sam, “Look Sam, your job is to make sure everything is correct on the invoice, including the accounting, before turning it in to the cashier. You are to have it all correctly completed.”
Sam’s idealistic view of being able to do only as much as he wants and then turning it over to someone else to correct and finish gets a sharp refocusing by Jim. Sometimes, it takes blunt, “this is the way it is” talk to reach through an Idealist’s storybook ideas.
Communicating with people is a fascinating challenge. Have fun with it!
Pursue Great! In all you do.