The majority of people you will have conversations with fall into one of two camps. They will either be Realists or Pessimists. Actually, some folks will have a foot in both camps.
Not all Realists are the same. Each Realist is different because every one of them will have a slightly different perspective on reality.
For example, Democrats, Republicans and Independents have different opinions of reality. None of them will see things completely unbiased.
As a manager of people, I learned a long time ago there are three versions to every situation. There is the version employee A tells. There is the version employee B tells. Then there is the third version… what really happened.
With Realists, the bottom line is they do try to be accurate in their view of the world. They know it’s not ideal, not perfect. They also know it’s not all bad and hopeless. The look for the good and are wary of the bad.
Each of us has a different viewpoint based on our past experiences, our upbringing and our religious and moral beliefs.
Many of us have strong opinions on certain subjects. We may even be stubborn with regard to them.
When you encounter someone like this, (strong opinions), be thoughtful with your word choice, tone and delivery so as to be as non-confrontational as possible. With proper care, you can move through a conversation with a strongly-opinionated person without becoming controversial and creating an argument.
Look for ways to inject your thoughts as suggestions for them to think about. Look for ways to “put a stone in their shoe“, as it were. Maybe they will revisit and think about your suggestions at a later time.
One way to do this would be to ask a question. Say something like, “What do you think about…?” Framed this way, you are not coming directly at them with a controversial thought or implying they are wrong. You are asking for their opinion on your suggestion.
Taking this approach provides you a benefit as well. Since you already know they most likely will not agree with your suggestion, you will have no reason to become upset yourself when they reject it. You knew they were going to reject it. You were simply “putting a stone in their shoe.”
Another approach you can use is to ask them to do you a favor. Most everybody is willing to help someone out when they can. Simply ask them, “You bring up some very good points about ‘xyz’. Will you do me a favor? I am not clear on how I believe on this subject. Will you think about this, (explain your suggestion), and get back to me with your thoughts?”
Again, no confrontation. No argument. Simply asking them to do you a favor and give their opinion.
There’s another benefit for you with this approach. Since most strongly-opinionated people don’t get asked for their opinion very often, they will most likely think highly of you for asking.
Have fun performing your Communication Skills Experiments!
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