We’ve all been there. Engaging in a conversation with one of those blessed people who are really intelligent. You know the kind. The ones who understand physics, chemistry, complex mathematics, engineering and philosophy. They have the ability to understand things beyond my level of thinking. They know words which I have never heard. And they know how to pronounce them!
So how do you have a conversation with them? By being yourself.
First of all, don’t try to match them and put on a show trying to speak of things you don’t know. The person you are conversing with will know you are attempting to speak impressively without the necessary background. Really, all you will do by acting this way is turn them away. They are already surrounded by people who try this approach.
Instead, listen intently and learn from their valuable fountain of knowledge! There is so much we can learn… and much of it is extremely interesting.
If you are having trouble keeping up and understanding them, ask questions. Oh, how often I have given this helpful tip! Admit you are puzzled and ask questions about that which you don’t understand. Most people are happy to explain things to help us understand what they are talking about. Remember, a key step to asking questions is to tell them you need help understanding.
Also, thoughtful questions regarding what they are saying is a great way to clarify what you are learning, and at the same time let them know you are engaged and listening to what they are sharing. Asking questions will help you win their respect.
Take advantage of your conversation with an intellectual person when the subject matter is that which you are familiar. Share your knowledge and explore their thoughts of the subject.
Now, when you come across someone who puts on a show of sounding more intellectual than he is, be gentle. Not everyone who uses big words to sound super smart really is that way. Maybe he feels inferior and this is the way he hides his emotions. Maybe he feels like he needs to impress you.
To determine if your conversationalist is truly intellectual or putting on an act, listen carefully during the first few moments. People who are putting on an act will often be overly forceful, loud and dramatic. They will also use big words or fancy expressions in places they are not needed. I have even heard them use these words incorrectly as they don’t really know their meaning.
As before, just be yourself. If they are acting this way because they feel insecure, keep the conversation easy going and natural.
Listen attentively, speak with common language and express interest in what they are saying. Show that you respect and accept them as a person. Hopefully, they will pick up on your gentle, accepting attitude that you accept them and then they will drop their act.
Be careful though, not to get yourself caught up in thinking you need to act differently in order to impress either of these two types of people.
It is so easy to get tense and be fearful that you are going to say “something wrong.” It’s easy to throw out a big word you have heard others use, and you think it is the right big word in this part of the conversation. It’s easy to tell yourself, they won’t be interested in talking to someone like you.
Resist the urge! These are all lies. Don’t tell them to yourself.
Be yourself. Take a deep breath and let out the tension.
Remember, you don’t have to add to the subject. You can simply ask good questions and learn! People love to share what they know.