How we speak is equally as important as what we say. The words we are speaking are only part of a conversation. When we are in a conversation there is more communicating going on than just the word choice.
The people we are talking with are analyzing our body posture and position, our gaze and eye movement, our tension and nervousness, our voice tone, volume, inflection and speed. They may not be conscience they are performing this analysis procedure, but they are. We all do it. The actual word choice is a small portion of the overall message being communicated.
This is one of the difficulties with texting. None of these other characteristics are available to the reader to use in determining the real meaning of the text. Punctuation is generally not used during texting by most folks, so there is not any help there for understanding the meaning. The result is picture icons to hopefully transmit a “feeling”. We have to be VERY CAREFULL when texting. Texting was not designed for in-depth conversation.
When we are having a conversation on the telephone there also is limited signals our listener can use to evaluate the meaning we intend. Stripped away in a phone conversation is the body language. All the hearer has is the voice. Yes, the word choice, but also the tone, volume, inflection and speed.
In addition to having limited signals available to use to help discern the meaning of our conversation, phone call conversations amplify the voice signals they are receiving. Volume is even louder. Speed is even faster.
Our minds depend on all the signals to comprehend a conversation. Without the body language, most people will not be able to process the words you are saying and understand them as quickly and thoroughly. Our minds use the body language to filter and organize the spoken word.
Adding to this challenge, is that it is easy for our hearer to become distracted by what is going on at their location. Are they driving? Are they cooking? Did they just wake up? Did they stop a project they were concentrating on to answer the phone? Did someone walk into the room where they are and cause a distraction? Anything could happen which can take the focus of our listener off of what we are saying. In a moment the “whole train of thought” could be broken.
There are oodles of challenges to a great phone conversation.
On top of all these obstacles is the actual words we choose to use. It’s easy for us words that are familiar to us but may be foreign to our listener. With a business phone call, it’s easy to slip into our industry jargon. The customer may not understand what the words or acronyms mean. We rattle them off because they are normal, common, daily language for us. The words come across as a foreign language to the customer.
Once we loose the customer with words they may not know the meaning of, we loose them in the conversation. They may become confused. They may stay locked on the word we used and try to figure out what that word means. Once we loose them, they loose interest in the conversation. From that point on, it becomes an uphill battle to express yourself.