The techniques you will want to use when having a conversation with someone who has a forceful personality are different than the techniques you will used with a quiet personality.
But to begin with, just like with the quiet personality, ask yourself the question regarding why this person may be this way.
Four possibilities come to mind: (1) They simply are naturally dynamic, (2) They recently had an experience that has them all fired up (maybe excited and happy or excited and upset), (3) They think overly highly of themselves, (4) They are hiding feelings of inferiority.
If you are also a strong personality, then by all means engage fully in a conversation full of life, vigor, animation and volume. Have a great time!
If you are like the majority of people and not quite as dynamic, there are a couple of techniques to use to help make the conversation fun.
Really, no matter what the source of their strong personality, the techniques to use when talking with them are the same.
First of all, let them have the lead in the conversation.
If they are excited over something that just happened, they are wanting to get that energy and emotion out. Let them take the lead and talk about what they need to talk about.
People who think highly of themselves and those who hide feelings of inferiority behind bold personalities want to feel in-control and want to run the show. So, let them.
Challenging these folks for dominance or for the lead in the conversation will only annoy them. The conversation will quickly self-destruct under their hostility at not being in control.
Let them take the conversation where they want it to go. Filter what they are saying. You might find some truth and wisdom buried in the muck.
The second technique, we have touched on before in previous posts, is to ask quality questions.
Thoughtful and well placed questions can have an amazing impact, especially on big personality types.
With the right question at the right time, you can stop them in their tracks as well as actually guide the conversation in a different direction that you want it to go.
You see, forceful personalities are used to speaking about whatever they want, however they want with their listeners simply going along for the ride.
While going along for the ride may be the best thing to do in some circumstances, a skillfully asked question can bring them up short and cause them to think about a topic in a new light.
Frame your question such as, “Have you ever considered…?”, or, “What do you think about…?”, or maybe, “What has been your experience…?”
With questions framed in this manner, you will feed their need to feel in control and at the same time you may be able to shift the direction of the conversation. You may be able to get the conversation to a topic you are interested in. You may be able to “put a stone in their shoe” that they think about even after your conversation is finished.
With practice, you will be able to easily use these techniques to help create higher quality conversations with both quiet and forceful personalities.