Let’s pick up with Brian M.’s blog from The Art of Charm on the subject of speaking skills.
Speaking without tension
That low, dominant tone that makes you sound confident comes about naturally when you release the tension in your voice. The muscles in your shoulders, neck, jaw and throat all affect your voice tone so you want to relax those muscles when speaking. To get those muscles relaxed here’s an exercise you can try: Start by taking a slow, deep breath. As you exhale make a noise that’s half yawn/half sigh and soften any tension you feel in your jaw, throat, neck and shoulders. This exercise will help you become aware of the existing tension in your voice so that you’ll be able to relax that tension when speaking.
The importance of breathe
Taking slow, steady, deep breaths as you speak will ensure you have a slow, steady, deep voice. The key to obtaining this kind of breath is to make sure that you’re not just breathing into your chest but instead are breathing deep into your belly. You should be able to feel your lower rib cage expand out as you inhale and your belly should rise and fall as you breathe in and out. If this sounds like too much to remember there’s a very simply way to think of it. When you breathe in, imagine breathing that air deep into your balls. Visualizing your breath like this ensures you’ll take the deep, full breaths needed for speaking with confidence.
Adding authority to your speech
When people are uncertain of what they’re saying the pitch of their voice automatically goes up at the end of a sentences. You hear this all the time when people ask questions but it can happen when people give statements, too. If you want to add an extra touch of authority to your speech do the opposite and end your sentences by lowering your pitch. Even if you’re asking a question, this downward inflection is going to make you sound much more confident in what you’re asking.
Stay present
A lot of the problems mentioned above – speaking too quickly, tightening your voice, breathing into the chest instead of the belly – come about when we lose presence. It’s when we get so wrapped up in what we should say next (or what people might think of us) that these bad habits take hold. To prevent this, stay aware of the sound of your voice when you speak. This will keep you grounded so those nasty habits won’t come creeping in unnoticed.
Practice improving your voice
For these tips to become a part of your natural way of speaking it’s important to practice them. An easy way to do this is to record your voice during a phone conversation with a friend. Listening to a recording of your voice will make you aware of some of the mistakes you’re making and areas you can improve upon. Do this on a regular basis (maybe once a week) and it will be much easier to cut out bad speaking habits and replace them with good ones.
The next step in building confidence
Speaking with confidence is just one part of learning how to project the confidence that will have you succeeding in dating and business. If you’re serious about improving your confidence in order take your dating (and professional) life to the next level, the Art of Charm can help. Find out how. www.theartofcharm.com