Speaking is a main method of communicating. Whether in business relationships or personal relationships speaking in a manner that effectively gets your message to your hearer(s) is an important skill to possess. The skills for speaking effectively are necessary both when we are speaking to someone on the telephone or speaking to them face-to-face.
The following is part one of a blog post relating to this subject of speaking from the Art of Charm website by Brian M.
www.theartofcharm.com
Speaking with confidence will improve every area of your life. The same confident tone that will make you more attractive to women will also earn you more respect and authority in the workplace. Below are a few tips on speaking with confidence that will help you develop the strong, powerful tone for projecting confidence in any situation.
Slow down
The most common mistake men make that prevents them from speaking with confidence is speaking too quickly. When a guy speaks quickly it often gives the impression that he’s nervous, insecure, or lacks self-control. It’s crucial then to practice speaking at a slower, more relaxed pace. Speaking in a calm, deliberate manner shows confidence – even dominance – and gives the impression that you’re a man who is in control.
When to start speaking
A similar mistake men make is that they rush into speaking. During a conversation a guy may start talking the same moment (or even moments before) the other person finishes speaking. Jumping in and talking immediately like this can make a guy look a little too eager –and even worse – make the other person may feel as though she wasn’t being heard. A good practice then is work on pausing for a second or two after a person speaks before you start talking. Taking your time like this shows you’re relaxed, confident, and are actually interested in what the other person is saying.
Eliminate filler words
Filler words (words as “umm”, “uhh””, “like…”, etc.) are used to take up space while a person tries to figure out what to say next. But using them just makes a guy look uncertain of what he’s saying. So if you want to sound more confident when speaking, eliminate these filler words completely. What should you put in their place? Nothing. If you need a moment to think of what to say next simply pause and hold that silence. Silent pauses are incredibly powerful as they build tension and suck people in. If you can hold those brief moments of silence without feeling the need to fill that silence with useless sounds, people will start to hang off your every word.
Don’t just be loud
Men sometimes confuse speaking with confidence as speaking loudly. While speaking loud enough to be heard is important, what matters even more that volume is your pitch and cadence (cadence is basically the rhythm of your voice). To project confidence then, be sure to keep a low pitch and a smooth cadence when speaking (don’t bounce the pitch around, frequently going from high to low to high). Maintaining a low, steady tone of voice is a surefire way to sound more confident.